Ethics & Religion
Column #2,005
January 16, 2020
Saving Marriages In Crisis
By Mike McManus
Is your marriage in crisis? If so, that is not unusual.
Since 1975 half of America’s marriages have failed.
However, there is hope. You can take a 12-week workbook course with a friend
of the same gender that will help you grow so much that you may be able to
attract your mate back. It is called “Marriage 911 God’s Way.”
It was created by Joe and Michelle Williams. Both had suffered failed
marriages, and their own marriage was in such a crisis in the late 1980s,
that they separated for two years. Both feared they were facing yet another
divorce.
Michelle recalls, “When we finally reconciled we discovered that our focus
was always on each other – instead of the Lord. We were trying to
micro-manage each other. Once we separated but were not seeking a divorce,
each of us were left to work on the marriage without the help or
expectations of the other. This alone time is what God used in our lives to
create the 27 tools that eventually ended up in our workbook.”
After the Williams moved back together, they realized that many couples in
their large evangelical church, were secretly struggling in their marriages,
and “felt comfortable reaching out to us. They wanted help.”
A women on the staff of Michelle’s church felt her marriage was in crisis,
but feared that if she told anyone, her job might be in jeopardy. “That led
me to ask if she wanted to meet on her lunch hour and I would take her
through a workbook” that she and Joe were putting together for marriages in
crisis.
“She agreed and the setting resulted in the support partner aspect of our
ministry.”
Joe said he knew “a few guys in our church who thought they had to pretend
all was well at home or their wife would be upset with them.” When Joe had
coffee with them one on one, “they really opened up.”
Therefore, Joe and Michelle decided to tell their pastor about their work.
He asked them to start a reconciliation ministry, which they initially
called “Reconciling God’s Way.” It is now called “Marriage 911 God’s Way.”
Joe and Michelle taught the class of men and women together. However, after
teaching the class, they realized the people trying to save their marriages
needed continuing support. “We decided to make sure that each person
selected a support partner to take the pressure off Joe and me,” Michelle
recalls.
The cost is modest. For $25 a person can get both a Support Partner Book and
a workbook. To order the set, you can buy it from Amazon, or go to
https://marriage911online.com.
Interestingly, Joe and Michelle discovered they should not privately counsel
a couple in crisis! They could not agree on what should be done. “We were
now fighting!”
Therefore, they urged spouses trying to save their marriage to choose a
friend of the same gender for mentoring.
In 1987 I met Joe and Michelle on a trip to Modesto, California. A decade
earlier, the pastors of Modesto were the first in America to create a
“Community Marriage Policy,” in which pastors of 80 churches agreed to take
steps to better prepare couples for a lifelong marriage, to enrich existing
ones, and save those in crisis. The divorce rate was dropping, and I saw
Marriage 911 as a new tool, focused on the spouse trying to save a marriage
with a disillusioned partner.
There were two results. First, I invited Joe and Michelle to speak at a
national Smart Marriages Conference. More than 100 pastors from across the
country asked the couple for marriage-saving workbooks they could take back
to their churches. Second, by 2006, Modesto was one of nine cities in
America adopting a Community Marriage Policy whose divorce rate fell by 50%
or more. (An independent study of CMPs that my wife and I created in 230
cities, reported an average citywide drop of divorces of 17.5%.)
Half the couples who take the 12-week workbook course with a support partner
are able to rebuild their marriage.
Therefore I urge readers to take two steps. If your marriage is in crisis,
or you know someone who is struggling, order the materials from
https://marriage911online.com.
Secondly, tell your pastor about this marriage-saving ministry.
You can be a marriage saver!
__________________________
Copyright (c) 2019 Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a
syndicated columnist. To read past columns, go to
www.ethicsandreligion.comm. Hit Search for any topic.
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Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers
and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly
mike@marriagesavers.org
9311 Harrington Dr.
Potomac, MD 20854
301-978-7105
