Marriage Takes Work!
Joe and I attended a marriage conference several years ago and the speaker suggested that each couple set aside a date night to discuss what their favorite things were. This was so the “date” would have a positive tone to it. We attended the seminar for two reasons; for our marriage, and for ideas to pass on to people who attended our own conferences. We loved this exercise and used it to create a handout in one of our classes titled “My Favorite Thing to Do.”
We made a list of 15 categories for each spouse to fill in. For example: “My favorite place to eat is__________”, “My favorite kind of date is___________”, “My favorite type of movies are ________”, “My favorite type of vacations is______”, etc. Then, we added, “My least favorite is______” to each category. We asked them to answer without discussing it with their spouse, and on their date night, exchange their papers to discover what each one had written. After their date, we encouraged them to keep these papers as a reminder of what their spouse enjoyed for future date night ideas…as well as what to avoid! Let’s face it, having a good marriage takes work.
Before giving the assignment to our class, we decided to test it out ourselves. For years, we had been going to a certain chain restaurant in our town that I did not like, but I knew it was Joe’s favorite. So, when I filled out the paper, I decided it was important to be honest since it was something we tried to include in our own teachings, and in doing so, I had to admit that this chain restaurant was my least favorite. To my surprise, Joe had listed that same restaurant as his least favorite as well!
“What?!” we both chuckled, realizing that each of us had mistakenly thought it was each other’s favorite and suffered through many dinners simply because we had assumed rather than asked.
Our own funny example was not the only one when our marriage class shared their date night experiences.
What about you and your spouse? What about you and your children? Do you really know what they like and dislike, or could it be that you are assuming, as we were, that your gifts and get-togethers are based on what you assume rather than what you know?
Take some time to create your own “My Favorite Things to Do” list and enjoy discovering what you thought you knew about those you love. Visit our contact page and let us know how we can help you have a better marriage.
